Happy Mother’s Day!

Just a reminder.  I am not a mom, I don’t know how all you ladies do it - I admire you.  While I consider myself a “dog mom,” no I don’t think that is anywhere near being a real mom to a human child, but my dog is the only little one that i love and care for, so that is my closest comparison.  Also, any thoughts I ever have on parenting. . .take ‘em or leave ‘em. I share things that I have seen, experienced as a child or just things that sound good, interesting etc. I don’t know anything about parenting though - I’m not trying to pretend that I do.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms in my life!  I feel so incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by so many amazing mothers. . .my mom (the best!,) my sisters and my friends.  You are all amazing. I don’t know how you do it, but you do. And you do it so well. I hope you are spoiled today and are able to make of the day whatever you want.

As I’ve said before, I’m not a parent, but I do want to share some awesome things that my mom has done/does, or things about our relationship which I love and appreciate.  No, this isn’t everything awesome about my mom, but just a few thoughts I wanted to share.

• My mom lets me be me and supports me, even if she disagrees (as long as I’m not hurting myself, etc.)  I previously gave the example of when I got my tattoo. No, my mom isn’t a tattoo kind of lady, but she told me she liked my tattoo (and I believe her) and joked with me about her getting one too.  I asked her how she could be so supportive of me making decisions that she doesn’t agree with and she ultimately said that I’m an adult, that she trusts that I’ve thought about it, made an informed decision (which I did with my tattoo,) and essentially she trusts/supports me.  She has done this with small things, like the tattoo, but also bigger decisions I’ve made in my life too.
• I remember telling my mom how much I appreciate her being my mom growing up, not my best friend.  I always liked and loved my mom “I love you, I like you,” (which is probably a bit of an understatement. . .I was a bit obsessed with her when I was really little,) but she was always my mom, not my friend.  I think I needed her as my mom when I was younger and her being my mom (not my friend) enabled her to become one of my best friends as a grown adult. She will always be my mom, but I love that she is now my mom and my friend.  She truly is one of my very best friends now.
• My mom respected how I felt about things/how I was comfortable.  I know I had shared the example of when I got my period, I was so uncomfortable telling my mom that I wrote her a note telling her.  She didn’t make me sit down and talk to her, instead she wrote me a note back, telling me that I could always come to her if I needed anything and she got me products needed etc.  I am so appreciative that she didn’t force me to sit down and talk, talk, talk to her, she didn’t take it personal - I mean I wasn’t comfortable really talking to anyone about it. She communicated with me in a way that I had demonstrated made me the most comfortable.  And no, I’m not saying that parents should never sit their kids down and have difficult/uncomfortable conversations. . .sometimes that is what is needed. I like though that my mom took into account how uncomfortable I was with it and respected that, communicated with and helped me in a way that I could best relate to/take in.
• My mom has let me make mistakes.  I’m sure there were many, many, many times in my life when my mom was looking at what I was doing/decisions I was making and just cringed, felt terrible, worried etc.  Unfortunately though, I feel that some things in life just have to be learned through experience - I’m sure if she said, “no, what are you doing, you can’t date xyz,” I would have just been mad and/or ignored her.
• When I was dealing with the consequences of my poor decisions, my mom was always there for me - to listen, a shoulder to cry on. . .she was just there to support me.  She never said “I told you so,” or tried to make me feel bad about what I had done. . .she was just there to love and support me. I really have put my mom through a lot - the standard bad boyfriends etc, but also, more seriously, my eating disorder.  She never gave up on me, she never was “finished” with me. While she didn’t tell me this specific to me and/or my eating disorder I had asked my mom how she was able to put up with another person’s mental health issue and I remember asking her how she does it, if she ever thinks about washing her hands of it and she told me that she always thinks/reminds herself that it is an illness.  “They are not just being mean/misbehaving, they are sick.” You wouldn’t shut someone out for having an illness like cancer, so she couldn’t do that with a mental illness. So true (in my opinion,) but what an amazing, strong woman to not only think that, but to reflect that in her actions. And I am so grateful that she was able to continue supporting me through all the stuff I put her through, especially my eating disorder. I could not have gotten healthy without the love and support she gave me, as well as my other family and friends.
• There is obviously a time for all things, but in general, my mom has been very open with me.  If I ask her questions, she answers me honestly, whether it is personal, silly, or whatever. I know my sister Allie says I always get good information/stories out of mom.  I just ask questions and she is always willing to answer.
• As I mentioned above, my mom is now my mom and my friend. I think as I've gotten older and our relationship has changed, I've been able to see my mom more for who she really is. Yes, I would have always said she was loving, supportive, comforting, smart. . .but I love that I've been able to grow to see my mom as funny, witty, strong, sassy (at times) and just so much more. It isn't that she changed, it is just that I've been able to see more of the whole person she is.
• Lastly, to all the moms in my life, you are all amazing.  Seriously. I can’t imagine the stress and pressure put on mothers (by others and yourselves.)  Please keep being amazing and try to remind yourself that there is no “perfect” mother. You can’t all be everything - I try to remind myself this sometimes. . .one person just doesn’t get to be the super fun, super smart, super sensitive, super sweet, etc.  We all have our strengths and we don’t all get to or need to be amazing and perfect at everything.
• I have to include in here that my mom went to brunch today with my sister Alyssa and mentioned that the bread pudding was so amazing that she had to have seconds. Well I told her that she has always been so incredibly selfless that she deserves it. She has been so selfless with me throughout the years and I am sure she has sacrificed dessert many times - letting me have the last cookie, or not getting her dessert because she had to pick me up from somewhere, so she definitely deserves an extra serving of bread pudding. I hope all of you moms treated yourself today, because you deserve it!

As I’ve said before, I know nothing about parenting and I don’t think that pets are equal to human children.  That being said, not having human kids, my dog is the little being that I love and care for. . .the closest thing I have to a child.  I so love and appreciate that my mom respects me being a dog mom. If Stout is sick, my mom is sure to ask the next day how she is doing, just as she would with any of my nieces/nephews.  So, I love, love, love that my mom gets me Mother’s Day cards from Stout. Once my mom even got me a Mother’s Day gift. . .a nice bottle of perfume, which I loved and accepted, but was also sure to tell my mom that while I love the intention, the gift is too much.  I will happily accept the cards, but she really doesn’t need to get me actual gifts. She gets me the cutest dog mom cards though! Below is my card from this year.