29 Women On What They Wish People Understood About Their Chronic Illnesses

I just came across and this article:  29 Women On What They Wish People Understood About Their Chronic Illnesses.  As someone with a chronic illness I understand where these women are coming from.  That being said, it reminds me how incredibly fortunate I am to have such supportive and understanding friends and family.  As most people have heard me say, “I am not grateful for my MS, but I am able to identify good that has come from my MS,” with one thing being the solidary of my friends and family.  I have always been fortunate to be supported by my friends and family, but I really feel solidarity with those I love/who love me and it is wonderful.

This article got me thinking. . .supporting someone with an illness or disability is tough.  I think especially because everyone wants and reacts to support differently. I still recall once in college I was at a grocery store and there was a man in a wheelchair trying to get ice cream, but appeared to be having trouble doing so.  I went over and asked if I could help and he responded angrily, “no.” (Or who knows, I don’t really remember, maybe I just reached in and grabbed it for him and I shouldn’t have, maybe I was too forward in my trying to help ) I remember thinking, “jeez, I was just trying to help.”  Looking back, I figure he may have just been having a bad day, had been set on doing this independently etc. Very often when I run someone will stop me and ask if I am okay - people out walking/running, some people will pull their car over. (My gait is all strange, I’m super slow, sometimes kind of off balance etc.)  I always smile, say “no thanks” and continue on my way. Some people leave, but others will ask again - “are you sure, can I get you some water, do you need my phone etc.” John had asked me - “doesn’t that bother you and annoy you?” And you know what, it doesn’t. I love it. And no, I don’t love it for the attention, it is just always a reminder to me of the good there is out there, how many kind people are out there.

So it is tough, do you offer to help or not?  We all have to just read the situation and do what we think is best.  My one rule for myself is usually to just ask if they are okay/help is needed, if I think that something is wrong/help is needed. (So just because someone has a different gait, I wouldn't ask if they need anything as long as they seem okay, if they are still cruising along, don't appear distressed, etc.) And if I offer help and someone says “no,” then to just leave it. Also, I think we can all remember that in most cases, especially with friends/family, we can just ask people what they want/need from us.

Anyway, as I had said previously, I’ve been so incredibly fortunate to have the friends and family that I do, loving and supporting me, but one theme I saw through many of these, was women just wanting people to believe them.  So I would just ask that people believe and support each other, regardless. Are there people out there that lie? Yes, but let’s face it, most people are honest and we should just believe and support them. As one women stated “nobody chooses this.”  Yes, it may seem awesome not having to work, but as she expressed, I miss working - I truly do. It is so much harder to not work than I expected. . .much harder emotionally, but but financially, too.

Thanks again to all my loving, trusting, understanding, supportive friends and family!  Everyone has their challenges in life, everyone, and I’m just so fortunate to have you all by my side.