My way or the highway. . .the highway actually makes a lot of sense

I just read this article “Dad gives a beautiful explanation of why it's ok that his son mows the lawn 'wrong'” and wanted to share.  I think many people, including myself,” have “right ways” of doing things, when really, the “right way” isn’t all that important.  This is something that I learned when I got married.  I may do things differently than John does, but it doesn’t mean one way is right/wrong.  I’ve learned to accept him helping and doing things, even if they are different than I would do it.  Yes, it is different than I would do it, but he is taking the burden off of me, which I should (and do,) appreciate.

I just wanted to share this, because I think that everyone, particularly those in relationships and with children, can benefit from “learning this lesson,” letting people do things “wrong” or different that you would.

In These Crazy Times. . .Treat Yourself

In These Crazy Times. . .Treat Yourself

We are living through some crazy, difficult times.  I am so fortunate and grateful for so much - my health, at least being “stuck” at home with my two favorites (Stout & John) and so much more.  That being said, I still hate much of this COVID craziness and just want to remind everyone that during these crazy, difficult times, to treat yourself. . .even in the smallest ways.

As most of you know, I am a very scent focused/loving person.  I really notice scent and it is often tied to memories for me - I used to go to a hardware store in the city, specifically because it smelled just like my Grampy’s hardware store.  And I love perfume. . .  Anyway, I had to pick up more deodorant and conditioner from Walgreens today.  Now that I am on my disability budget, I buy what is cheapest, which today meant me getting Secret deodorant (not the Dove I normally wear,) and Dove conditioner (not the Sauve that I normally end up with.)  And I have to say, I have just been loving these new scents.  Silly yes, but I really have been loving it.  It is just such a nice, simple treat for myself.  I was telling my mom that I may need to just wear perfume some days as an extra special treat.  I love perfume and couldn’t tell you the last time I wore it.

No, I don’t think everyone needs to treat themselves to new, wonderful scents.  I do think though that everyone should do whatever little things they can do to treat themselves in these tough times.  Especially all you parents.  I often think about the parents out there, at home with kids, caring for them in general, doing school, working. . .you have so much going on.  I know nothing about parenting and don’t want to tell you parents how to do what you do so well.  That being said, I say, give yourself some leniency with the kids.  Maybe they have more screen time than you’d like. . .but hey, maybe you need that to be able to work or just keep your sanity!  Do what you need to in order to take care of yourself.

So everyone. ..be sure to treat yourself.  Whether it is a lovely new deodorant scent, or a bit more screen time for the kid(s) to give you a little time to be able get things done that you need to, or even just for a few minutes to yourself. ..treat yourself!

No One is Right All the Time, No, Not even Me!

This morning I was listening to, yes, a podcast - John Meachum on Armchair Expert (Dax Shepard.)  John Meachum is an author/presidential biographer.  While I didn’t love the episode, (just not all that interesting/entertaining for my tase,) something was said that I just absolutely loved and wanted to share.  Dax was essentially asking him if he is a Republican or Democrat and he was explaining that he has voted for both Republicans and Democrats and will likely continue to do so.  He said (not verbatim, but close,) “no one person or side has a monopoly on insight.”  I just love this.  I truly believe this and think that is just  a good way to say it.

As many of you have heard me say, I know absolutely nothing about raising kids. ..I don’t know how all you parents do it.  While I don’t know how to tell anyone to raise kids who believe this, I have to say that I very much hope for a future where more and more people feel this way.  We don’t all have to agree on things, but I wish people would be more respectful and understanding of one another...and willing to at least listen to and be open to other views/ideas.  Because I agree with/believe this statement...there is no one person or side that has it all “right.”

This is a little different, but it made me think of a couple things/examples. . .

First of all, I remember that not all that long ago Ellen DeGeneres was seated with George W. Bush at an event and posted a picture of the two of them, seeming to enjoy each other’s company.  She got so much backlash on seeming to be nice to/enjoy her time with Bush because she is a lesbian and he didn’t support marriage for gay couples.  I thought that was just silly.  Just because he doesn’t support a decision that she made/something she believes, feels etc. isn’t a reason to be terrible to him (and vice versa.)  I like that it can be possible for people to at least be civil/friendly to those with opposing views, even if those views impact oneself.  With no one person/side having it all “right” all the time, maybe we should all be at least willing to listen to others’ ideas/views, even when they are different from our own.

Secondly,this is kind of different, but it also made me think of my mom.  She is so incredibly supportive and genuinely so, of my sisters and I, even when we make decisions she may not agree with or do things differently than she would/does.  I just love and respect her so much for being able to do that. . .to genuinely support us, even if it is different than what she thinks/feels.

So please, everyone, be willing to listen to and be open to others’ views/ideas.  No one person/side has it all “right,” so by doing so we can learn, make better/more informed decisions and just create a better more tolerant world!

More Screen Time?

More Screen Time?

This morning I listened to: Good Kids: How Not to Raise an Asshole, How To Balance Screen Time While Kids Are Stuck at Home and just thought many of you parents, quarantined with kids at home might enjoy this.

First of all, I don’t know how you with kids do it. . .ever,  Much less during this crazy time.  Hats off to you!  I really enjoyed a couple things in this podcast that might be helpful/relate to some of you.

First of all, parenting is hard.  Everyone is trying to do their best and that is all you can do.

Take care of yourself.  You might have to make changes to how you would normally handle something - well these aren’t normal times,so do what you need to do to handle things in a way that works best for your family.  (Yes, your kid may be an hour over the allowed screen time, but you have a big, important work call and you need to keep your job.  You’re not a bad parent for letting them get away with the extra screen time so that you can have your work call.)

It might be worth redefining how you think of/count screen time during this crazy quarantine.  Now a lot of time with friends/family is done virtually.  More and more school work is virtual.  And, this is just a tough time for everyone. ..everyone is just trying to get by as best as we all can.  Maybe, at least during this quarantine, it makes more sense to limit screen time that isn’t productive, enriching, enlightening, helpful. . .in some way.  Maybe screen time is extended for things that are though.

Once again, I know nothing about this, but I do know that all the parents in my life have even more on their plates during quarantine, which I didn’t think was even possible.  You are all doing great and it is okay to not make the “perfect parenting choices” all the time.  What is perfect, is doing what works best for you and your family right now.

Stay safe, stay healthy and keep on doing the amazing kick-ass job that you’re doing, raising amazing little people!

Kids & Corona

Kids & Corona

I know that dealing with this Coronavirus is frustrating for everyone.  I remind myself to be grateful for my health and (no offense to all you parents out there,) that I don’t have any kids.  I don’t know how all of you with young children do it when things are “normal,” so I really don’t know how you are handling things now with this Coronavirus craziness. . .hats off to you!

This morning I saw a YouTube video with Kristen Bell and she was discussing hosting Nickelodeon’s Town Hall on the Coronavirus.  I didn’t watch the town hall, but I just wanted to share it with the parents out there, along with a couple other resources.  Remember, you are all strong, amazing, loving, wonderful parents. I so admire all that you are doing to care for your family. . .and be sure to do what you can to care for yourself as well.

Stay healthy everyone!

• Nickelodeon’s Town Hall on the Coronavirus

• Amazon Just Made A Bunch Of Kids' Shows Available To Stream For Free

• The Daily Podcast A Kids’ Guide to Coronavirus 

Kids & Trauma

Kids & Trauma

Today I was listening to Good Kids: How Not to Raise an A**hole.  The episode:  How To Grow Up In Traumatic Times (with Dan Levin, discusses children and trauma and just thought it was interesting and worth sharing, especially with my many friends/family that are parents and the many that work in education/with kids.

I do want to mention that they touched on empathy in the podcast. What an amazing quality that is for children (adults as well,) to have. I have a niece who has been empathetic with me and my MS and it just touches my heart. . .it makes me so happy to see that she is so incredibly empathetic,even as a kid - it is an amazing quality to have.

Scotland is Awesome, PERIOD.

John and I visited Scotland a few years ago and both loved it.  Well, I just read an article yesterday that made me love Scotland even more - Scotland is the first country in the world to make sanitary products free for everyone.  Free?  What? It isn’t like they can cost women much money (I can hear a random man saying/thinking.)  Well I also recently read this Well + Good article, which cites that women spend on average $17,000 on  menstruation. (THE AVERAGE WOMAN SPENDS $17,000 ON MENSTRUATION—SO, AGAIN, WHY AREN’T TAMPONS AND PADS FREE?)

Having your period sucks - while I am ultimately the most grateful that my IUD has kept me from getting pregnant, a close second is that I no longer have my period!  Yes, I am one of those incredibly lucky women who stopped getting her period when starting the IUD. . .I haven’t had a period for a little over 7 years! And I hadn’t thought of it this way, but on top of just not having to deal with having my period, it has also saved me money!

Anyway, I don’t really know why I wanted to share this, other than I think that it is just awesome.  I wouldn’t ever expect this in the US, but maybe they could at least remove taxes on menstruation or make products free for students in public schools.  I don’t know. . .something to help the ladies out.

Fighting & Aging

Fighting & Aging

Today I listened to Justin Long’s podcast, with Kristen Bell as his guest.

Kristen spoke about a few things that I really liked - relationships/fighting and “knowing your lane”/aging.

Kristin and Dax both seem to be pretty open about their relationship and I’ve really admired some things I’ve they’ve shared.  I know that Dax had mentioned that they went (maybe still go?) to couples counseling. They had started going pretty early in their relationship - they weren’t having problems, but proactively started couples counseling in order to keep them from having major problems (or at least enabling them to better handle problems in their relationship.)

Dax and Kristen fight and are open about it, which I find admirable.  I’m not a fighter, maybe it just isn’t my thing, maybe because my parents didn’t fight in front of me, who knows.  While fighting gets a bad connotation, it can be healthy and Dax and Kristen seem to be able to fight well. Kristin mentioned that when they were first together they kind of made a pact - “we’re on the same team,” and she said that even if they disagree, are mad, frustrated, etc. they remember that they are ultimately on the same team and that enables them to not get as hurt/angry.  They also fight fair - no deep, mean things said, etc.

Kristen also talked about how she “knows her lane,” which I loved.  Essentially she talked about how she is good at knowing what suits her, what she is good at etc.  She knows she isn’t good at everything and that is okay. . she knows what kind of acting roles she is good in and focuses more on roles that suit her.  I really loved though her talking about this in terms of aging. She said she had her years of looking good in a bikini, now she is older, a mother of two, she doesn’t have to be in a bikini.  As we get older it makes sense for us to be able to look at things we used to do and appreciate those things, but also recognize and accept if/when we are no longer able to do so.