How We Choose to Remember Those in our Lives

How We Choose to Remember
Those in our Lives

I was listening to Dax Shepard’s podcast with Elizabeth Gilbert.  They were talking about the passing of her love.  While discussing end of life Dax said “I would refuse to disrespect what a beautiful experience this had been by measuring it all by the end” and I just really loved that.  I don’t think by any means that everyone shouldn’t remember the end/has to remember only the good of those who pass.  That being said, I agree with Dax - we are all complex people and if someone is in my life it is because they are “good” and it is okay to remember the good, not just “the end.”

I think this really touched me because someone I love dearly is much different later in their life than they were earlier in life, ultimately being “better/nicer” earlier in their life and I know that when they pass  I will choose to remember them as they were earlier in their life. I actually kind of already do this. . .I choose to think of who they were earlier in life, rather than who they are now. I realize that there may very well be some psychological learnings that would consider this “wrong,” but this is how I feel best and am best able to deal with the person as they are now.  I am not ignoring/blind to their faults, but I choose to look at them/think of them as the wonderful person they were for most of my life. . .not just who they are now.